The turmoil and violence in her family, sexism, and the lack of support for her painting caused Binghui to try to flee this world by suicide when she was young. The attempt to die threw her into a silent, dark and eternal nothingness. As she escaped death, she began to question whether she was really alive, and the meaning of life and death. Since then, whenever she feels tormented by anger, fear, and vulnerability, she tries to put herself into a fantasy world to escape those feelings. She is afraid of water, but when she feels helpless and has insomnia, she often imagines herself curled up and slowly sinking into the deep, dark seabed, using suffocation to let herself fall back into a darkness and nothingness that is similar to dying. She longs for a place to hide herself from these emotions that torture her mind. She hopes that she will no longer have cowardly tears, no longer try to escape by suicide, make no more compromises, experience no more violence in love, no depression.
In the long process of fighting against anger, vulnerability, and depression, Binghui continued to paint and create in an intuitive mode. In her creative and experimental explorations, she has gradually refined the elements that best represent her personal emotions and applied them to her paintings, jewellery and sculpture, slowly achieving self-healing and self-acceptance. Memories and pain from Binghui’s childhood and puberty contribute to her occasional auditory hallucinations. Taking automatism and personal growth experience as her creative background, she injects her own subjective thoughts and fantasy into the works while paying attention to the rhythmic change of the material itself: she uses traditional skills to use materials, light, shadow, sound and lines as vehicles, through both the conflict and the fusion between materials and craftsmanship. She makes them bounce repeatedly between the inside and the outside, the virtual and the real, 2D and 3D, and the works are condensed into a melancholic, broken, sharp, fragile state, that is sometimes scorching, sometimes obscure. Binghui studies the relationship between emotion and matter, life and death, fragility and immortality, intangibility and visibility, and tries to achieve a flowing mood between nature and creation, as well as self-healing.
