Jiahui Hou

In my social circle, more and more people are turning to social phobia to protect themselves. I've been in that situation, so using that as a starting point as the main basis to find that my unconscious behavior itself should be classified as social anxiety disorder. Therefore, I decided that social anxiety would be the research subject. They are all created in series, sometimes the creative cycle spans a long time, and I like to paint layer by layer, the purpose of which is to make every art work perfect in my mind. There are about the symptoms of social anxiety: speech anxiety, embarrassment, dating anxiety and my personal feelings. Even though my paintings are as implicit and metaphorical as a personal note, audiences can feel the struggle and adjustment between my and these emotions.

I used to think that being alone was humiliating therefore, I often cateed to those relationships that were not suitable for me at the cost of consuming myself. It was not until my undergraduate classmates chose to end her life by drowning that I realized the impact of negative emotions on individuals. I firmly believe that all the beautiful words in the world can be used to describe her. She was considerate, friendly and warm, tender, kind and gregarious. Perhaps it is these beautiful words that make us unable to perceive her inner pain, and also make her repressed mood be destroyed. At that time, I often recalled her. In order to get out of the hard time, I learned a lot about psychology. Through this process, I found that negative emotions and happiness will accompany each of us all our lives. They are not shameful. I am very grateful to her help. In memory of her, I take the loneliness I feel as an example, hoping that the audience can face it and learn to adjust, so as to reduce the occurrence of such stories.

Human desire has never stopped since ancient times. In contemporary society, human desire is largely reflected in the development of science and technology and medicine. While they serve human beings, they also cause a lot of disputes (such as the existing surrogacy, cloning and freezing of human beings). I often look forward to the development of science and technology in the future to meet my desire. Undeniably these developments also go against the natural laws of biology to a great extent. I use the contemporary unique iPad to describe my contemporary desires - knowledge syringe and soul exchange box (unfinished). Through them, I hope, the audience can think about how to balance human beings living under desire with nature in the future.

I connect my emotions with philosophy, and I read and researched philosophy. For example, Schneider mentioned the meaning of death, freedom, loneliness and life, that is, the four ultimate concerns of existentialism. Whether we are willing to accept death calmly or still unwilling to face it, we will know that death may not be the kind of devil we are afraid of. It must not be frightening, cruel and rude; it can be silent, peaceful and kind. Maybe the problem is that we do not trust it because we do not want to understand it, nor do we want to bother trying to understand it all our lives. If we can understand it, we may realize that we can accept death as an integral part of the course of life. It is my hope that we will not be lost in the fear of death, and we can spend this life peacefully and happily in the end as well as find out the real meaning of life.