Muxin is an illustrator from Beijing, China currently based in London. Her self-published books were exhibited in the abC art book fair in Shanghai (2020), in Bonjour! art book fair in Nanjing and Sichuan (2020), and in Yes! Art Festival in Beijing (2020, 2021). She received a Merit Award from Hii Illustration in 2019.
Muxin loves small objects in daily life. She gazes at them and gets lost in thought.
In China the phrase ‘putting down’, which means don’t be upset any longer, is often used: put your sadness down and stop holding onto it. I don’t know what ‘putting down’ is. We avoid talking about the death of our loved one, only referring to their achievements in life when we remember them. Is this avoidance of grief called ‘putting down’?
I realised ‘putting down’ has nothing to do with avoidance, during the past year. I wandered through every corner of my mind, calling up images that I didn’t usually recall. Linked those fragmental memories and thoughts together, then recorded them in writing. And eventually, the memories that belong only to me transformed into physical objects in a public space that can be sensed by others.
One day in June, I completed the first edition of the draft of the work. I printed out the drawings and writings, stacked them on top of each other, aligned four edges of the papers, and then put them into a transparent document bag. I saw the bag become thicker bit by bit. I took up the bag, raised my hand higher with a slight intention, and let the file bag drop on the table. I listened to an object falling on the surface and the slight sound of two surfaces rubbing against each other. I think even the most self-demanding people would feel a slight sense of contentment at this moment.
Then I suddenly understood the meaning of ‘putting down’.
This work is about my memory of my passed grandfather. I retrieved, organised, and retold the story between us through writing and drawing. Solemnly, silently, gently saying farewell to him.
I break the order of the work and put them in random pairings on the website, which gives me another direction to see this work and my memories. In the process of ranging the pages, I realised that the nature of random meaning is nudging people to keep open to the thought of 'how does the thing take place'.
